Dear Diary By Elle Sillanpaa by Nelson Homer Bruggeman.

Dear Diary,
Today was the most disturbing of days. It started with a terrible nights sleep. I dreamt I was a cowgirl, which initially was very pleasant, Until I realized the American frontier was no place for a lady. I was surrounded by foul mouthed men who knew nothing of science or bathing. We set out to rob a train when I remembered I don't know how to ride a horse. This was bad. The men were getting mutinous and I had to do something quick or I would lose my posse. Luckily, in this particular dream I was also a vampire.
I used my Vampire abilities to take control of the cowboys by turning them into Vamps. I set to work teaching the new cowpires physics, and we began building a proton accelerator. Vampires (and dreams) are very efficient so in no time the project was complete. We prepared for our test run, Having no idea what would happen when we fired her up. (Proton accelerators are always female) I pushed the button and.... I woke up. I was outraged. I rather enjoyed being a vampire cowboy scientist. The rest of the day was full of disappointment and rain.-Elle